“ANONYMOUSE”
cpyr. 1996-2016, Too Nuts Productions, LLC
Ralph Scott
He crept out of his hole
He crept around the house
Methodic like a mole
This was Anonymouse.
His mission: to detect
His passion: to discover
A rumor to inspect
The Feline’s latest lover.
He knew if all else fails
If true, it would spell trouble
Two heads, eight paws, two tails
Meant trouble truly double.
He slipped around the sink
He skipped behind the fridge
With life close on the brink
Tiptoed the toaster’s ridge.
The coldness of the tile
Gave way to warmth of rug
A razor sharp-toothed smile
Adorned a whiskered mug.
She waited in the den
She nestled near the hearth
Sophisticated in
Preferring purrs to “Arf!”
A cactus in the corner
A porcupine with bangs
Were less intimidating
Than two sharp sets of fangs.
Anonymouse crept nearer
To get a closer look
He wondered should he fear her?
(He hoped she couldn’t cook!)
The rumor begged correction
Though looming large and long
Upon closer inspection
The Cat was lost in song.
Her claws could skin filets
She had the teeth, for sure
Instead of stalking prey
She rolled around the floor.
Her lover looked disheveled
All stringy, limp, and gnarled
And in some trance, bedeviled
He neither blinked nor snarled.
In fact, he lacked emotion
And seemingly a will
Enraptured in devotion?
Or frozen from a chill?
And stranger than pulp fiction
The wilder she gazed
Her fur sparked from the friction
The longer she engaged.
Anonymouse grew braver
He jumped right out in front
But nothing would distract her
This Cat who shunned the hunt.
Anonymouse took action
His ego somewhat hurt
With tom-toms, bells, and cymbals
He sounded the alert
He pounded, clanged and shouted
Parading ‘fore his foe
He rested, then he pouted
The Cat would not let go:
Her playful paws were busy
She gave her mate a shove
She’d never been so happy
The two fit paw in glove.
At last the hopeless rodent
Conceded his defeat
Had cats now lost all interest
Were mice passé for meat?
He crept back toward his tunnel
Dragging tail like one who begs
As he turned he brushed the muzzle
Of the playmate with cloth legs.
The Mouse’s eyes grew larger
All this play had caused a rip
Through a tear in lover’s armor
Poured a sprinkle of catnip!
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